Apologize to the Past, Amend to the Future

- by Christian Sentiment, for September 2017 Newsletter

Social media nowadays keep track of what we did or said since the first time we started using it.  It also came with routine reminders of “what you did ___ years ago”, to let you repost or reshare that memory with others.  Not all memories were pleasant, of course, but these reminders gave us something to really reflect upon as Catholics.  When we have faulted others in our past, how many of us went back and apologize to them?  How many of these relationships were reconciled or amended?  

Our minds work in funny ways.  When we have done something wrong to others (not to the point of committing a mortal sin), we often forget about it.  Relationships that were broken because of these mistakes were probably not worth keeping anyway, or so we thought.  They withered slowly into nothing, and we make new relationships to fill those gaps.  But, is this really how we should live as Catholics?

Recently, I came across a post that I wrote six years ago, and it read something like this, “After looking at some really old emails from 5 years ago, I really want to say sorry to him whom I've hurt badly at that time.  I thought, I was the one getting hurt, so I didn't care what he thought.  But, at the end, we both got hurt.  I am glad that I see myself growing up and getting more mature.  At least, I don't think I will make the same mistakes again.”  Reading this post today, six years later, interestingly my mind worked like a computer and immediately remember the “emails” that were mentioned from 11 years ago.  I reread the post again, and I still feel the same regret I felt six years ago, that I did not get a chance to apologize to him.

Timing is everything in our lives.  Amending or reconciling a relationship is the same.  That timing for me to apologize to this guy has come and gone many years ago.  I have lost contact with him since then.  Even if I still keep in touch with him now, why would I want to apologize at this very moment and stir up the poor memories from the past again?  He would probably think I am crazy too by bringing up something so long ago, that was already buried under spider webs and dusts and forgotten.

Growing up and becoming a more mature Catholic now, I told myself that I would try my best in every relationship I have with others.  Even with the most difficult people I deal with, I still try work that relationship out as much as I can.  Of course, I have a bottomline of how much I would try, but at least to that extent I have done what I could with no regrets, knowing that I have done my best.  Facing one’s own mistakes in the past and not making them again in the future are what matters the most.  I hope this is a good reminder for you too to apologize to the past and to amend to the future.